Christina Dodd confesses THE 10 REASONS AUTHORS ARE WEIRD

  1. We talk to our computers, our dogs, our cats and our fictional characters. We’re not so good with real people. Christina_Dodd_House_Dogs (1)
  2. The opportunity to use funny-sounding words thrills us. Words like akimbo, catawampus, gobsmacked.
  3. When someone says something witty or wise, we remember and someday it will reappear in a manuscript.
  4. Authors collect names: people names, place names, dog names, cat names.
  5. When we watch movies, we yell out things like, “Turning point!” “Character arc!” and “Foreshadowing!” Addendum: No one likes to watch movies with an author.
  6. We embarrass our children by analyzing sex scenes for emotional development and rate them per how they tip the scales of passion.
  7. Wait staff routinely eavesdrop as we plot murder, clearly wondering if they should alert law enforcement.
  8. We talk to ourselves while alone in the car, performing both sides of a conversation. When we see someone staring at us, we pretend we’re on the cell phone. No one is fooled.
  9. Online, authors ask for help with questions like, “If a woman was going to hang herself in an old one-story house, how would she do it?” See #7: Alerting law enforcement.
  10. Deadline is frequently a literal event involving feverish activity, sleeplessness, hallucinations, lack of grooming, irregular eating habits, and prayer. Lots of prayer.
  11. Authors use up all our daily allotted nouns writing and say stuff like, “Get the thingie out of the whatzit.” Addendum: Our family comprehends and one of them gets the cheese grater out of drawer.
  12. Cool office bookshelves with hidden storage are more important than caffeine, wine or chocolate.
  13. Authors can’t count to ten. Christina_Dodd_Bookshelves_Graphic